The Voices of Fear

I've been reading a book by a guy named Jon Acuff. It's called Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, and Do Work That Matters. Acuff is a Christian (you may know his name from the Stuff Christians Like blog/book), but this book isn't a Christian book. It's in the Business/Motivational/Self-Improvement section on Amazon, but since he is a Christian, I wanted to hear his thoughts on doing work that matters.

I was kind of expecting the book to be a bunch of fluffy, motivational mumbo jumbo, but it has caused me a lot of introspection. Not that it takes a lot for me to get introspective, but in more meaningful ways than I was expecting. Probably the most impactful insight has been regarding the role fear plays in our everyday lives. Acuff is talking to a counselor, who asks him to speak about the voices inside his head, the self-talk that goes on behind the scenes. After Acuff asks exactly what he means, the counselor explains:

"Well, I've asked thousands of people that question [What do your voices tell you?] over the years, and I've learned something: no one has a positive internal voice. No one's internal voice tells them, 'You're skinny enough. You sure are pretty. People are going to love that new project you're working on. It's going to be a huge success.' Which makes me curious about what your voices are telling you. Most of us tend to think they're telling us the truth. We've heard them for so long that we trust them. We think they're looking out for us, that they've got our best in mind. That they're trying to protect us or help us. We think our voices are friends, but they're not. They're foes."

When we document those voices, when we give them a name, when we call them out, it is easier to label them what they are: lies. And the root of these lies is so often fear.

I don't know about you, maybe you have tons of really positive, self-confidence-building conversations in your head, but I know I am one of the many that has a negative internal voice. I enjoy cutting myself down with insults, convincing myself that my dreams will fail before I have the chance to begin, and condemn myself when I'm convicted of sin in my life.

You're not good enough to be a Christian. Nobody cares what you have to say, you'll just look stupid. Everyone in America has already forgotten about you. You will be lonely forever. You are replaceable. It is better to act than show your real self. There is something wrong with you. You have way more insecurities than anyone else. You have good reason to feel the shame you do. If you can't get rid of your sin, why even try? You are lazy. You are stupid. You are difficult to love. You are high-maintenance. You are selfish. God is not able to fix you. You are a bad son. You are a bad brother. You are a bad friend.

This is what the voices of fear tell me. This is what they sound like, ringing through my head throughout the day.

I think the hardest thing about these voices is that they are so deeply engrained and so subtle. I don't walk around all day hanging my head and berating myself with insults. I'm typically a pretty upbeat person who loves to have fun and laugh and enjoy the company of others. But since an early age, they have learned to kick me while I'm down and piggyback on each other. And they are the hardest voices to ignore. They are the voices that too often drown out reason and truth when I need those two things the most.

The beautiful thing about these voices and fear is that there is hope.

I am not a slave to fears or lies or insecurities or sins. I'm ready to start labeling them, giving them a name, and kicking them to the curb. Are you?

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'"
Romans 8:15

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

I'm thankful for a God who speaks truth.