This is for you Chris Jones

Christopher Jones asked me to blog about my Strengthsfinder test. I won't write about it exstensively now but my top 5 are: Harmony, Achiever, Consistency/Fairness, Focus, and Competition. I might write about it more extensively when I get a better grasp on what they are and what they really mean or how I see them or something. but not now

By Our Side

Last night as I was going to bed, I just had this immense feeling of wanting to write something awesome. something significant. I wasn't sure why and I wasn't sure what it was going to be, but it had to be great. significant. That had me thinking about significance. What does it look like? Why do we strive for significance? Obviously there is not one answer for this. I want to make an impact, to live a life of significance. I do not want to live a life of mediocrity. Not knowing what is to come has me a little bit afraid, not afraid of what is to come but what is not to come. Afraid of failure. Afraid of mediocrity.

The great thing is that significance does not come in a certain shape or package. It is different for everyone. It does not have to be something big and renowned, it does not have to be small and unnoticed. Significance can start today. at school, at home, at the mall, at church, at the asian karaoke restaurant. Significance isn't a solo journey. We are not lost and wandering in our quest for significance, but we have a eternal, heavenly father by our side. By our side to guide us to a life of significance. By our side to talk to. By our side to comfort us. By our side to give us strength. The hard part is not realizing that God will always be there for us, it is seeing what he has in store and putting it into action because with open ears and willing hands, we will lead a life of significance.

May we always remember that the Lord is by our side and that He will lead us to a life of significance through our trust in Him.

Why do we break down when we can lift up? Why do we insult when we can affirm? Why do we taunt when we can appreciate? Why do we make fun when we can make better? Why do we hurt when we can love?

I tried to think of a clever title but I couldn't, but I'll keep trying

Last week my Dad and I drove down to St. Louis for a college visit. A couple nights before that I drove 5 people to Sonic and when I was entering onto I-88 the toll light did not flash "thank you." I had forgot about it until we were in the car together and so I told him what happened. He then realized that he had forgotten to change the credit card number on her ipass after she had switched credit cards recently. While we were in the car driving, we could do nothing about it so my Dad called my mom and asked if she could go online and pay the missed toll and change the credit card number. Unexpectedly, a mini-argument ensued because my Mom didn't want to do it because she didn't really know how. My Dad thought this was silly, as did I for the record, but he eventually conceded and decided to do it on his laptop in the hotel. It wasn't this whole incident that got me thinking but a comment my Dad made after the phone call. To some extent (NOT a direct quote) he said, "Sometimes she has to do things that are outside of her comfort zones." Right after I heard this, a little lightbulb lit up in my head. AHA! It makes so much sense. So many things in life require us to step out of our comfort zone. Loving others. Forgiveness. Adventure. Having Courage. Ignoring Temptation. Following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. Sometimes just having plain old fun requires us to step outside of our comfort zones. For example, one time I was sitting in a dentist's chair getting a root canal and I sure wasn't comfortable but I was having...so...much...fun? Maybe thats not the best example. I'm not trying to say that we should live our whole lives in discomfort because it is for the greater good, not at all. But what I am saying is that we shouldn't strive to live a life of comfort. That should not be our goal. I know for myself, this can be very hard at times. very hard. very hard. I'm gonna say that one more time: very hard at times. But I know that when I do step outside of my comfort zone, I can almost always look back and see the benefits that it had.

So I'm watching my little cousin Gemma right now and I am really bored so I decided to write a blog post. I should probably be watching what she is doing but she's fine.

As the end of summer approaches, I have reached a crossroads of sorts in my view towards the summer. Most of my time is spent either looking back at all of the good times that I have had or worrying about the forthcoming school year and all of the stress and burdens that come along with it. While I'm doing this, however, I am failing to realize that I am living right now, in this moment, in this second, this little speck of my life that has just come and just gone. While I am dwelling on the past and dreading the future, I am missing out on so many things that are happening now. I'm not necessarily talking about missing hanging out with friends or missing the Cubs game or something material like that, but I may be missing an opportunity to do God's work now. God's plan isn't all about what we're going to do in the future. He wants us to have an impact now, not just think about how we are going to have an impact in the future. What will ever come of us if we are always planning for what's to come and never actually taking the time to stop and realize that there are things that can be done right now.

oh no she just pooped her pants. just kidding.

It's funny (but not really)

note: My first couple of posts are going to be kind of related and I wasn't really sure which one to write about first, so sorry if there is any confusion.

wassup?

So it has been a little over one week since we got back from new mexico. good times. But ever since I have been home, I have been feeling really stressed out. In New Mexico, I never really felt any of the pressure that I normally feel when I am at home. School, work, money, family, busy, busy, rides here, rides there. I came home from New Mexico and ran into a brick wall of stress and it really bummed me out. I was especially frustrated on the first day back because it seemed like all my family wanted to talk about was making me more stressed. Man (or woman, I don't mean to be discriminatory), talk about frustrating. You did not want to talk to me that day. It's funny because I go to New Mexico and share with these kids about God and how they can put all of their trust in him and then I go back home and try to carry everything on my own shoulders. It took me a couple of hours at home, stressing out, and taking my frustrations out on others to finally get them all out and realize what was going on. I have a control problem. I need to feel like I am in control. I wish I could be in control and handle it but I can't, not by myself at least. I need God's help and I know that I can put all of my trust in Him, yet I don't. It's kind of funny, but not really if I really think about it. Let me tell you a cheesy story: There was a boy named Frank (or girl named Lisa, again not discriminatory) and he(she) was failing pre calc. Oh boy(girl), it was ugly. I'm talking 30%. However, everyday after class the teacher would talk to Frank (Lisa) and offer him a little help. Okay, a lot of help, he was offering Frank (Lisa) a free A+. WOOHOO PARTY! Except Frank (Lisa) would never excpet it. He(she) always chose to try it on his own and still he couldn't get it right. This is how I feel sometimes with my relationship with God. (See how cheesy that was, I loved it). Little by little I am giving in, whether it is praying about guidance in my still undecided future in college or journaling about what I am feeling here and now, and little by little I am beginning to feel the burden being lifted off my shoulders. The power of God's grace and love for us will shine through in His plans for us, we need to just let Jesus take the wheel (Thanks Carrie Underwood).

good night