Bite My Tongue

Sometimes, I think that I say things before I really think. While its not necessarily a bad thing to say what is on your mind, most of the time I find myself coming to the conclusion that I need to think before I speak when I am already in a hole. I also can take things too far, maybe bring up a topic that was decided to be dropped from the conversation. When I do these things, it is hard not to tell myself that I am really stupid. Why would you keep going? I feel like eventually I am going to say something that could be really detrimental, something that can't be taken back, and while this day has not yet come (and hopefully it never will), I am afraid that I may damage a relationship with any of my friends or family to a point where it can't be mended.

When I find myself wishing I thought before I spoke, and I look back on myself in these situations, it is really hard to not have regret. I keep telling myself, I wish I didn't say that; I wish I stopped when they said stop. Regret can be really heavy and can weigh one down for a long time. I have found it to be one of the worst feelings to have, a feeling that can result in sleepless nights and a cluttered mind. I feel like it would be really freeing to live a life without regret, yet can't imagine it being possible in my life. I am not having a sleepless night right now, but maybe experiencing a bit of a cluttered mind, but just thinking about the past couple of days and how I wish I could have a few moments back, just to enough time for that split second judgment thought. But while I sit here and dwell on those moments, I know that it is time to move on, to free my mind of the regret that is in there.

My hope and prayer is that I will live a life void of regret, yet full of love.