I've been thinking a good amount about fears and how my life is really inundated with it. It feels like every minute of every day there is something that I am afraid of. Whether it be rejection, being exposed, failure, or any other of a plethora of fears that I feel, it is beginning to appear to me how much my fears really can dominate my thoughts, affect my actions, and take over my life.
Sometimes its hard to nail down exactly what I am afraid of in a certain instant. It might be my future and losing everything that I have now. It might be as simple as being afraid to raise my hand during school. All I can say is this: Fear is shaping my life, and I don't like what it is doing.
It makes it so hard to be bold, to express what I am actually feeling. It makes it so hard to truly love others. It makes it so hard to follow Christ with all my heart and all my soul. It makes it hard to believe that I can fear not with Jesus Christ.
Right now, It's hard to know what to do with all of this fear that is bottled up inside of me. I know that I can't do it without the help of God, but it is so hard to overcome these fears and really put my trust in Him.
While it is hard to see a day where there is no fear in my life, I will continue to pray and try and put my trust in God to take care of all my fears. What's a good story without any conflict anyway?
So glad you're processing at such a deep level. I know we've talked some about this, but I'd like to talk some more.
ReplyDeleteKeep it marinating.
Thanks for your honesty. I'm glad that you're beginning to recognize the fears that are shaping your life. As Dan implied, its really good that you're thinking about this now. I didn't really begin processing my fears until I was halfway through college.
ReplyDeleteKeep thinking about them, and talk to Jesus about them regularly. It's vital to express your heart to God, even if you can't explain yourself, or don't understand your feelings.
Talk to Dan Cumberland about them too. He's quality. :)